How To Spot A Drunk...

Well. The Home Office have just issued guidelines (to the police) on how to spot a drunk. And so, being interested in folk being able to go to the pub without being breathed on/chatted up by/leered at/generally bothered by the local alcoholic ne'er do well, we present some of the 'evidence to look for'. In reality of course this is to enable Police identify anyone who is drunk, and therefore committing an offence. Can we also look forward to guidelines on how to spot someone in the act of applying graffiti, actively burglarising, or dare I say it, wasting money on the bleeding obvious?

Bear in mind it is illegal to serve a drunk in a pub (and has been for a while), so publicans & bar staff will also find this of use, so that they can evict the drunk before they get arrested/fined as well. The drunk of course will now get very aggressive, and smash things up because he can't get served, and then go down the supermarket where they don't care. Which is probably where most of the alcohol he has imbibed came from in the first place.

So How Do You Spot A Drunk?

• Bad tempered, aggressive;
• Offensive language;
• Becoming loud, boisterous or disorderly;
• Becoming physically violent;
• Becoming incoherent;
• Slurring, or making mistakes in speech; and
• becoming argumentative.
• Being careless with money;
• Annoying other persons, employees etc;
• Exhibiting inappropriate sexual behaviour;
• Drinking quickly or competitively (‘down in one’)
• Swaying;
• Staggering;
• Difficulty with walking;
• Falling down;
• Bumping into furniture;
• Spilling drinks;
• Difficulty in picking up change; and
• Fumbling for cigarettes, or other items
• Drowsiness, dozing or sleeping;
• Rambling conversation;
• Loss of train of thought;
• Difficulty in paying attention;
• Not understanding what is said;
• Glassy eyes and
• Lack of focus.
• Unkempt
• Dishevelled

Source: Home Office guidelines / The Publican

One has to feel sorry for the police. I mean, they are intelligent human beings with an important and often difficult job to do. Those they deal with are either victims (and so already angry, upset & frustrated), or the guilty (who therefore will not be their biggest friend). So they can't win. When a smart arsed lawyer gets the guilty set free, the police take the flack. If the guilty don't get caught, they get flack. If a speeding motorist kills someone, they get flack. If they catch a speeding motorist, they get flack. And know they are being told how to spot a drunk, by some bureaucrat who has never had a drop (yeah yeah yeah). And expected, via targets no doubt, to go into pubs and make themselves even more popular!

It's all quite sad really. And what's the betting most (if any) fined for being drunk, will be those who only get a bit Brahms once a year? The old pros will be able to hide it. But then I suspect the Police already know this as well.