Thursday 4 December 2008

I'm Going To Write A Book....

...and here is the plot synopsis.

There is a country, which has a government. This government is seemingly made up of people from one nation in this country - a nation which also has it's own government (unlike the other 3 nations that make up this fictitious country). The public at large don't seem to find this strange, but then they are more interested in people who are famous for no obvious reason, and voting them out of jungles and into dancing competitions. As a result, the government is allowed to get away with all sorts of things, like recording who you have phoned, and arresting MP's who try and stop bad things from being covered up. A small, but growing proportion of the residents of the country are very naughty, but because the police have caught both Administration-Overloaditis and Healthandsafety Syndrome, nothing can be done to stop them. This scares everyone else, and helps sell newspapers. As a result, the government explain how they will sort it out by Tuesday, forcing the bad news into places no-one ever looks anymore. And so the people get ever-more taxed, regulated and controlled.

Against the background of this wars are being fought at great expense against an enemy that might not even exist, for a cause that has it roots in the bad feelings that the wars create.

And then, just when everyone though they knew who win Strictly I'm Famous In The Jungle Acadamy, the banks (who have been ripping everyone with impunity) realise they have given all their money away. As a result, the government have to replace all the missing cash, with money from the pockets of the people who gave the missing money to the banks in the first place. But because someone who really was famous won Celebrity Tea Picking, this wasn't figured out.

In the meantime, as a result of oil company greed and spiralling taxation reducing the money in the pockets of the people, and the banks venting their frustration at their own bad management by squeezing their customers, recession arrived.


At this point I gave up on writing the book, as it became obvious that no-one would find the above even vaguely feasible....

Would The Last Publican To Leave 'Great' Britain Please Switch The Lights Out....

Sometimes you have to wonder why people do what they do - like, for example, take on a pub tenancy. For they are entering into the shadowy world of the 'Pubco', and, admittedly with their eyes open (but temporarily blinded by 'promises'), a very weird business world indeed. A world where you are forced to buy product (ie beer, cider, etc) at very high prices, a world where if you do well your rent is put up accordingly, and now seemingly a world where falling beer sales mean your rent must go up to cover the shortfall in income to the pubco. You don't need to be Carol Vorderman to see that if your income goes down, a rent rise, sorry hike, is the last thing you need...

But if you run a pub in Islington, it might just get even worse... Now I beleive the pub should be a major part of the community - of EVERY community, and pubs do more than just sell alcohol (I don't recall ever seeing a pub that offered more beers than soft drinks, for example). So they should do everything they can to play this role, and avoid being a thorn in side of their community. But if they are a problem, it's only when they have customers behaving badly. These customer will invariably be part of that community as well. Do they too then not have the same obligation? Apparently not. Probably against their 'human rights' to behave in an orderly & respectful fashion. But in Islington, one of the many things pubs will be forced to do is remind their customers that urinating in the street is an offence. On the face of it, no civilised member of society would condone on or off-street pissing in built up areas (although it is OK for dogs to do it...). But look deeper - if the pub is responsible for passing this message on, then it is possible they could then be blamed if it doesn't get through. Looking further in, the guilty individuals are more likely to be younger than older (unless of course it's Bournemouth, Gateway To The Incontinent), so therefore it is reasonable to assume they were educated in Islington. In which case, it begs the question, why the hell Islington council doesn't teach basic manners at school?

Or is that too against Human Rights....

Thursday 27 November 2008

Please Mr Darling, Give Us A Break...

It can't have escaped your notice that Alistair Darling has decreased VAT to 15% in order to save all our lives, and it can't therefore escaped your notice that has been a massive rush of folks saying 'Well done, Darling. That's just the ticket'. What? You hadn't noticed that second bit? No, well neither have we, mostly because no-one in the business world feels it will make a big difference. Trouble is there is worse news - the duty rates on tobacco, fuel and alcohol are all rising to offset the VAT decrease. And that is very bad indeed, and here's why:

The Bluffers Guide To VAT, Duty and Prices
(you may want to make a drink before reading this...)

1. How VAT Works
VAT is a purchase tax, designed to hit hardest those who buy the most, who must therefore be the richest. That's great, but as it doesn't just get applied to Armani Suits, Cristal Champagne and Jimmy Who Shoes, it is paid by all us, not just rich Hip-Hop folks like Piff Diddly and 20 Pence or whatever his name is. Companies are allowed to 'Register' for VAT, so that they can claim back the VAT on anything they buy - but by registering they then have to charge VAT on anything they sell. The upshot is that companies claim back the VAT they pay out, and hand in the VAT they collect from customers. This means that some items have gone through the VAT process 2 or 3 times before the shops get hold of them. When Mr Joe Public buys his goods, the price includes the VAT element, which is calculated as a perecntage of the basic price charged. At all times the value of VAT handled by any company belongs to Her Majesties Revenue & Customs (HMRC). If it sounds complicated it is - there is a big list of what can and can't be claimed back, and many items are exempt from VAT unless something is done with them to make them eligible. Other things (like energy for example) are charged at a lower rate.

2. How This Works In A Brewery
Anything deemed an 'ingredient' is generally exempt from VAT ('Zero-Rated'), so for us we don't pay VAT on most of our purchases in terms of beer producution, so compared to many maunfacturing industries, we don't have as much VAT to claim back - this is good because we don't have to spend as much in the first place, but also bad because we have to hand over more pro-rata at the of each VAT period ('VAT quarter'). On balance of course it is better not to pay it, but you see how difficult it becomes to glibly say how changing the rate VAT is a good or bad thing in business terms.

3. How VAT Works When Selling
If you are a shop, you collect the VAT form your customers, and pass it on to HMRC at the end of each quarter. If you don't, then you get shouted at until you do, or they take your house/car/business away (but then it was never your money, so fairs fair). You will of course have paid VAT on the stock you bought, so you take the amount you paid of the amount you collected, and pay the reulting amount. You keep records, but is generally built on trust that you do it correctly, on the basis that at somep point you will under investigation, which can be unpleasant I am told (our turn will come one day, but that is what makes it work, the knowledge that checks are made, often without much notice). What this does mean is that this collected VAT revenue is effectively in your possession for up to 3 months before it is handed over - and so many smaller companies have to use this extra money to keep their overdrafts lower, or generally help cash flow. So already, we have another issue - by dropping the rate of VAT, cashflow can be impacted in a negative way - and don't forget that any business needs to charge more than it pays, so there is in relative terms less benefit in terms of paying less VAT. And of course, if, like a brewery or many other food producers you don't pay much, if any, VAT on your raw materials, there really is little benefit, only the reduction in cashflow. And of course, on Monday 1st December every business, large or small, will have to redo their prices. In most cases, it is just a setting in some software, and a bit of checking. For a shop, it can mean new shelf labels, or worse, every item with an idividual price ticket. My guess is that in many cases you will pay less at the till than the value shown on the items in your basket, but it will vary. And of course items bought at the old rate, sold at the new one won't make any difference to the annual profitability of a business, but is an impact on cashflow, which can seriously damage a companies health. Importantly though, the general opinion in the real world is that that 2.5% reduction will, for the majority, make bugger all difference - unless of course it makes us feel more confident in spending money, and that after all is what it is about - if people don't spend, we'll get further into a recession, and if everyone offers lower prices, we get deflation, which really is a lot worse.

4. What About The Price Of A Pint Then?
At last, the bit you are interested in. Well, we don't keep the VAT anymore than the pub landlord, so between us we don't get extra cash, and whilst this won't affect us the brewery (beyond cash flow issues as above), it does mean the landlord could, if he chose, to reduce his prices. This would mean 5p off a pint currently sold at 2.70. I doubt that would make anyone drink more, but again if it makes folk happier about going down the pub, it is a good thing, as then the landlord gets more trade without losing his income, and of course we sell more beer. Trouble is, Mr Darling (bless him), really has got it in for alcohol (except spirits it seems), and so to stop alcohol (except spirits) getting cheaper, he has raised alcohol duty by 8%. This has, on the whole, been kept very quiet - and it's not just alcohol, tobacco and fuel (2p per litre) - are going up as well.

On the face of it, the figures on beer do about match - the increase and the decrease are near as damn it without happenies the same. But (why is there always a but?) we have to pay the duty out of our income, so it is an increased cost to us. If we pass it on, it is an increased cost to the landlord, and will he then swallow it (pun intended) instead? I doubt it - there really is little margin for extra cost at the breweries or the pub, so guess what? Beer prices rise. I can hear the clamour of 'If it's the same amount, then prices should stay the same - what has come off goes back on, surely?' Well, to a point that is true, (and here's that word again) but businesses work to 'Margins', which is a pecentage addition to costs that sets your selling price, and whilst there is a lot more to price setting than that, the margins a business returns are a key indicator of it's performance (but not the only one by any means). So if your margins drop, investors/managers/bankers etc etc take a dim view. Of course this is no excuse for profiteering, but it explains the less blatant examples - and of course the old chestnut of cashflow comes in as well - Duty is not reclaimable, so duty increases come out of the lanlords pocket.

As a result, I expect beer price to rise by up to 10p per pint in the pubs. For good reasons pub prices are in units of 10p - anyone who has worked a bar will tell how hard it can be dealing in multiples of 2 & 3p here and there, and how much change is needed as a result. Again, not an excuse, but an explanation at least. But (that's a third one already) I also expect that some breweries will add a bit extra on as well - margins again - and I also expect some won't bother to raise prices but elect to take a hit finacially insted. Others will pass it on, but offer bigger discounts in return. It will be an interesting few days after the 1st December, but one thing is for sure, it will be the small breweries that take the biggest hit - we can't win, but we can damn well come a good second, and sometimes you know, that is more than good enough.

Phew, no more waffle - you can go home now. And then get down the pub for all our sakes.

Tuesday 21 October 2008

Well I Never....

I was just having a sly rummage in Google earlier, and I discovered we are listed in the Swedish langauge 'area' of Wikipedia. Brewery in Swedish is Bryggeri - which would possibly make me a Brygger, something many may think rather close to the truth!

Of course, looking for yourself (or your company), is possibly a vain excercise, but one I suspect we have all done at some point, and at least I suppose there is a commercial justification for it, especially when you read nice things, or are mentioned in the same terms as those you hold in high regard - and so the following brought a warm feeling to the deepest cockles of my heart...

Hop Talk, on American (ie the USA) hops in British beers

Maeib's Beer Blog - always an interesting read from a person who get's about a lot, and it seems often has a good word or two about us. Usual disclaimers, and no it's not me! And another blog, which mentions us, or at least our flagship bottled beer (92 Squadron, oh do keep up....), this time Messrs Boak & Bailey.

And finally for now, the CAMRA Good Beer Guide 2008 launch day press release.

Goodnight!

Here Is The News.... pt 2

Slowly catching up (see below for the first bit...)!

November News:

The beer supplied to Tesco (my, didn't it take some time to get the first order - thought we'd run out of date...) has sold well. Not that we have seen any official figures, but feedback from across Herts & Cambs and parts of Essex suggest that once on the shelves, stock was sold in a few hours, then shelves sat empty until the next re-supply, often a week later. Certainly Tesco have said they wish to continue, and we will start in anger just before Christmas.

In other developments, Polar Star has continued it's run of praise and accolades, and is worthy of a post of it's own. Which it will get, one day!

Late October:

MoreHens.
Not a typo (for once), but a reference to the fact we seem to have gained a second, or possibly third, new brood of Moorhen chicks in the last few weeks. Sadly this latest batch are being hit by the colder weather, and so the original three soon became one. I've lost count of how many of these noisy quarrelsome creatures we now have on the reed bed, but they do seem to have settled in quite nicely...

In Other Bill Oddie Friendly News, we can report increased, almost daily in fact, sightings of Red Kite (maybe one or more adults?). Of equal note was the three way fight between some crows, 2 buzzards and a few pigeons. The crows mob the buzzards, who eventually get bored and turn upside down to bring their talons to bear on the aggressor. All of which is far more interesting than the cask washing I should have been doing. Quite what role the pigeons were playing in all this was not obvious, but then that is often the way with pigeons (unless they are in the frying pan of course). The onset of winter has a undesirable side effect, and that is the normally distant rodent population of the fields comes looking for the warm dry shelter of the farm buildings. Now many of the buildings here are grain stores, and as such are designed to be rodent proof, and (again) like the brewery, are protected by the rat-mans equivalent of thermo-nuclear warfare. As a result, they are not an internal problem - but they do bring an increase in close-by kestrel action, and in the evenings, some serious owl activity. This is currently highlighted in the shape of a very noisy Tawny Owl, who, quite literally, finds it a real hoot to sit near our roof vents and make as much noise as possible. The result gives the impression that the little bugger is in the brewery or the office area. No doubt one morning we will discover he really was in the office last night, and having been locked in, spent the night on the internet downloading owl porn.

Here Is The News.... Pt 1

So much to report, so little time to do so. So here is the first part of a few updates etc, some of which I may expand on in due course...

A Beer A Day is the title of the latest book by Jeff Evans (published by CAMRA), in which he suggests 366 different beers to try over the year, with some historical facts to tie them with. Of course these things are subjective, and we'll all have a different view on the beers included. Of course it is no doubt against some law or other to quote from the book, but I will anyway, on the basis that you should go and buy it - it is a truly fascinating trawl through some interesting history.

Quote number 1: "It's crisp, clean and delightfully easy drinking, with plenty of taste for its modest strength and an enjoyably dry, hoppy finish. As session beers go, this one certainly stands and delivers". The beer? Why, our very own Highwayman IPA of course.

Quote number 2: "...all shored up by 4.4% alcohol and a full malty body to guarantee happy drinking..." And this beer, none other than our Britannia.

Of course for the full praise you'll need to buy the book, but you, like us, will be happy to have done so.

Going Corporate is not something we relish, but after much delay our bottled 92 Squadron is now available in Tesco stores across the western half of East Anglia, and possibly the eastern half as well. Now the supermarkets have come into some criticism of late, much of it justified, for selling cheap alcohol. But here's a twist - we actually get more per pint from Tesco than we do from the pub trade. The extra expense of bottling swallows all this of course, but delivering to pubs is pretty expensive too, and given the fact we are competing with breweries happy to brew very cheaply and sell at cost just to stay in business, it's a tempting market to focus on. We won't of course, because we strongly believe in pubs and their role in supporting a strong sense of community (something sadly lacking these days). Trouble is, as landlords are increasingly starting to believe that price is everything, and quality just a word to speak and write of, it is easy to see the benefits of joining the spiral of destruction that is the cheap alcohol in supermarkets.

To Kill A Lizard is apparently an offence, so it was with some relief that I just missed flattening one with a firkin last week. Now we have a lot of newts up here in our pond, so I can tell the difference, and whilst we see the very occasional lizard, it is usually the newts that venture up to the brewery building seeking somewhere to hibernate (yes, we have already made that connection, but we have not yet seen a staggering newt...). Quite what the lizard was after is anybody's guess, apart from playing chicken with rolling firkins, but he was intent on reaching a pallet of empty Batemans firkins, so maybe he has an understandable liking for their XXXB?

Monday 29 September 2008

This Post Has No Title... (IsThat A Self Cancelling Phrase?)

You may have noticed an absence of blog through August and most of September. I would like to say this was due to there being no internet access at the tropical beach paradise we decamped to for that period, but it would be a lie. We've all been very busy brewing, selling, delivering, cleaning etc etc. Whilst this is still the case, a few minutes have been found to ramble on in, so here we are.

What happened that period then, I hear you ask. Well, the usual round of brewing - Britannia saw another brief return, we did a couple of 'Western' beers (but not Western Anorak - not yet...), Polar Star saw a return (again), and really does look set to be a 'Fairly Regular' beer. Oatmeal Stout has made a return to the range (it is a winter beer for us), and I have to say it is as good as ever, if not better. Vulcan is the current 4.4% special, a golden-brown best bitter brewed with a Japanese hop variety grown in the USA. And the aforementioned Polar Star is on it's way. Looking a bit ahead, once Polar Star is finished we will be brewing 'Buntingford Witch Project', a beer last brewed when we were in Buntingford (2002, IIRC). Hopefully the name won't be lost on folk... Needless to say the approach of Halloween has prompted this, and whilst we won't even try to match the original beer, the recipe will be much the same (water & yeast excepted).

On the expansion front, things have started to move (slightly) again. Now that we have a Dave working here, we have a much clearer view of demand - we knew it was there, but now we can show it. This means we can approach funding from a wider range of sources, and although the bottling line is still firmly on hold (little real benefit finacially at present), a bigger plant is very much desired and needed.

In other news, the elusive Marsh Harrier re-appeared in early September, with 2 friends. Indeed there may have been a fourth - certainly we have seen one female and two males, and possibly a second female. Whether they had nested locally (Fowlmere?) or were just passing through on migration back to Asia we don't know, but it was to have seen them, albeit only for a few days. We have had our supposed Hobby confirmed by some RSPB-ists, and of late the Buzzards have been enjoying the September sunshine. In fact their calling overhead has given the place a feel of Tolkein's Middle Earth, or maybe we shouldn't have the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy over two nights the week. If I start seeing strange old men with beards, I'll let you know. What we are currently seeing though are Herons flying past (or more likely one with no sense of direction), and it is now open season with the Goldfinches - this morning I got a fly-by twittering from 30-40 of them, all looking very smart in the morning sun. Meanwhile our friendly Robin, who last year seemed happy to fly around in the office if allowed, has this year taken to landing on the roof, and singing into the ridge vents, thus creating the impression he is inside. He even whistles down the chimney into the copper when Catherine is inside it on cleaning duties. Oh how we laugh as we waste time looking for him, before realising his knavish little japes. Mind you, I blame the Pied Wagtails. They're never far away, and I'm sure they are egging him on....

It's Turner Prize Time Again...

...And once again we have forgotten to send in our entries - although we did know about in plenty of time, so it's our fault.

This is a real pity, as this year we had some really viable art installations and mass pieces, such as:

Look At What We Have A Pile Of - in which we collect all the spent hops from 3 months brewing, and make a pile of compost in an empty room, that cannot be seen into, leaving the viewer in a quandary as to what is really happening.

Go And Get A Real Job - in which people who work for all those government/local authority funded think tanks, focus groups and consultancies justify their work to terminally ill cancer patients who are denied potentially life-saving treatment by the NHS.

Empathy & Teeth Under Canvas - an installation that sees previous Turner Prize winners encased in plastic & porridge, then placed in a tent full of hungry sharks. At the same time we show a video montage of 'celebrities' climbing through holes in a moving wall, as an example of how Saturday night TV could get even worse. Oh, too late....

Think Trolley, See Trolley. Push Me And See If We All See The Same Thing First & Last. And Other Stupid Phrases That Mean Nothing - this is probably the most daring project, as it sees a woman dressed in nothing but clothes pushing her bank manager around in a supermarket trolley, whilst all around lights flash out the name 'Dale Winton' in morse code, all against a video screen background that portrays a pointless mix moving and still images.

You see, the world may be in financial collapse, there maybe a global wheat shortage, the banks may have lost all our money (well not ours obviously, the government have that) but there is still plenty of Bull to go around, and plenty of money to finance it all. Makes you proud to be a Human, does it n0t....

Wednesday 24 September 2008

Grrrrr!

No posts for ages, then I come back really, really, really angry. Oh, yes - and a few more reallys for good measure.

You see someone has raised all the hackles today, and whilst this is not the place to do our dirty laundry, the repercussions need some explaining.

So, basically, because of numerous false accusations, lies, rudeness to our staff, and not being provided with the right information (or any pertinent information for that matter until it was too late) about a local beer competition, we are about to stick two fingers up to supplying future CAMRA beer festivals with our beer. And this is based on our ignoring little snippets of info we hear in the trade that could make us really paranoid if we thought they were true.

Of course all this is a shame for so many reasons (not least of all the majority of hard working volunteers that freely give up their spare time to earn CAMRA more money), but I am sure we will live. There are far bigger concerns in the world of pubs and brewing than us, and if anyone refuses to go to a festival because our beer won't be there then quite frankly they are daft and we want nothing to do with them either. But at least now they'll know why. Well, that and the fact that we aren't able to get beer to 90% of CAMRA festivals anyway... We know this will make no difference to the success of our local festivals, but from our point of view enough is enough. We were happy not to be in the competition (it's not after all the end of the world) or even at the festival, but what has gone on beyond this is too much.

And no more will we say on the matter.

Monday 28 July 2008

You Have To Wonder Sometimes....

According to a report from the BBPA (British Beer & Pub Association), the pub trade saw a 10.6% drop in sales from April - June, compared to the same period last year. And over the first 6 months of 2008 there has been a 9.6% overall drop in sales. This compares with a rise in sales in the off-trade (ie shops, and supermarkets) of 7.6% in the same 6 month period. Now of course given then increasing scarcity of spare cash for most of us, and the continued availablity of very cheap alcohol in the off-trade, these figures are not a surprise. But it does call into question why various bodies, notably those reporting to the government, continue to bash the pub industry round the head, whilst praising the supermarkets, with regards to the drunken idiocy of a minority of folk. Forgetting for a moment that most of these drunken twerps would be just as anti-social when sober (and indeed often are), why should the pub trade take the flack? Because although they get 'pre-loaded' on supermarket at booze before leaving home, it is out in the street that their antics are observed, outside the bars they visit having already got drunk.

A recent study done for the Home Office by KPMG suggests that 'most pubs' are selling to under age drinkers. A very strong claim, but on further reading their is an admission that in reality the 'pubs' visited were selling to people 'who may have been underage' - ie they are assuming. There are it seems many other assumptions in the report, and very little hard fact. The upshot is that supermarkets are praised for showing signs reminding us what the age limit is for alcohol sales, and no doubt are also praised for demanding pensioners show some ID before buying a bottle of whiskey. And the pub trade is told to get its act together or else. Now, if we want a licence up here at the brewery, we have to show (quite rightly) that we will not sell to underage drinkers - and show statements, policy, training, procedures etc to prove that we won't. The most obvious proof is that a) teenagers couldn't afford to buy from us, let alone make the effort to come up here in the first place, and b) that I could go into the supermarket, stock up on cheap cider & lager, show my ID (well, I do look very young...), then nip round the housing estate and make more money selling it on than I could up here selling our beer responsibly. And so the supermarkets get no blame, despite the fact they are the cheapest, and easiest way to get alcohol. You certainly couldn't walk out the pub with 48 pints and then sell them on round the corner. Maybe that is why the pub gets the blame - that and the fact that the supermarkets are a very powerful lobbying force, certainly much more so than the brewery and pub trade. I suspect this is changing at last, but it may be too late to stop a raft of stupid legislation that won't do a thing to make a few numptys behave themselves. And that is the point - they only people to blame are those who get drunk then feel the need to make a prize twit of themselves. They should be punished, not anyone else. After all Ford don't get blamed if someone is killed by a speeding Mondeo. After all, alcohol is safe until it is abused, and the abuser should be made suffer the penalty. Of course there should be a degree of responsibilty from those selling the alcohol, and yes there needs to be a way of hitting those who don't follow the law. But we need to make people more responsible. Yes, even 12 year olds - if they think they are old enough to have a drink, then they are old enough to do something constructive as a pennance. There must be something they can do down a coal mine.

I would put a link to the report on the Home Office website. Sadly all I could find from their website is that we are very likely to be attacked by terrorists. Of course what they mean are the Muslim Fundamentalists who take exception - and for the life of me I don't know why - to the fact that we have put our soldiers in their back garden, and seemingly left them there.

Don't you just love the politics of fear?

Saturday 26 July 2008

Today We'll Talk About...

Well, I was to tell a couple of jokes, but it appears that they will probably cause offence, and so telling them would no doubt have me shot or locked away for several years - even though they may only cause offence to the sort of people who feel beholden to get offended on behalf of others, without consulting them first. And given that I can't think of any jokes that would avoid poking fun at some point in their telling, I won't bother.

I would tell what music we are currently enjoying, but even though we legitimately own the cd's, we are told we can't play them in case another person hears it. And that would mean we are broadcasting (even if they are trespassing burglar...), and so liable to pay a large fee to the PRS. Given that we feel we are already paying enough money to various bodies, institutions & government departments just for the privilege of running a business (several thousand pounds a quarter I might add), we don't therefore have music at work anymore. Given that we would possibly be better off on the dole, and certainly better off shelf stacking down the supermarket - either of which would certainly decrease the governments coffers - I don't think we can be blamed for thinking this way. So no, I won't now promote a few albums and suggest you might like to buy them as well.

I could say what a nice laugh we had down such and such pub the other night, but that would be promoting alcohol as a tool for pleasure. Indeed mention of how many pints we had may even lead to accusations of encouraging binge drinking. So again, I won't discuss it.

Likewise I could discuss some beer festivals....

Then there is the nice day out we had recently at the coast. But that involved driving a car, and despite the fact that we had no car at all for the last 6 months, is no doubt tantamount to promoting the benefits of an eco-disaster. Heck, it's note even as if we could have used public transport. They closed all the railways in Norfolk in the 1960's, otherwise it would have been much easier than driving. So I'll leave this subject alone (bar the bit in the previous post...).

So oh dear. I'm not in the mood to court the wrath of some State Nanny or other today. Which means there is nothing to discuss. Until next time that is...

Thursday 24 July 2008

Nature Notes....

So far, it's been a slightly disappointing year - the Barn Owls (indeed all the owls) had seemingly vanished, and no Marsh Harriers or Hobby.

OK, so we had more Lapwing chicks in close view than you could shake Bill Oddie at, and there have been loads of Reed Buntings, plus Sedge & Reed Warblers nesting in the reeds. But it was the big stuff that impressed folk last year, and this year we could only reminisce. But not now. There are Barn Owls in the hood - by sound only at present, but a sighting can't be long off. So they must be nesting a bit further away this year. Tawny Owls have fledged on the other side of the farm yard as well, although unseen by us. There are baby kestrels, and young buzzards as well. Plenty of partridge and pheasant chicks to (as ever). Even the Pie-Eyed Wagtails (well, it is a brewery) have managed to stop eating long enough to breed, successfully. We even have Yellow & Grey types here as well now.

But still no Harrier - but that's OK, we went to somewhere called Norfolk to see some instead - and saw a Hobby to boot (possibly, it was a long way off). Even saw some Bar-Tailed Godwits, which made a nice change from Bar-Towelled Halfwits.

Trouble is, a reduced lack of excitement in the skies has resulted in my looking nearer the ground. And we do seem to have butterflies after all. Ringlets, Meadow Browns, Commers, Red Admirals, Peacocks, Fritilleries, Brown Argus, Small Skippers, Dingy Skippers, Brimstone, Common Blue, and the list goes on. We even have one pupating on the premises. Serves me right saying we were short on them. It seems I was short on seeing them. I may even become a Lepidopteroperlepedoperist as well as developing a Billoddieology. But I won't be sticking pins in them. That's just evil. And it's easier to buy them ready done on Ebay.

As a result I am now expecting to see more things I previously thought we were short of - ie money back from the govt, common sense regulations, twenty pound notes, etc etc. Well, I can hope...

Carbon Neutral?

There has been much talk of going carbon neutral of late. And as a result many large corporates now claim to carbon neutral. But are they? It's all down to 'off-setting' - which in very simple terms allows an energy efficient company, that is below it's CO2 limit, to sell the excess CO2's to a company that is not so efficient, and either over it's limit, or perhaps more likely, keen to show the world it is actually environmentally sound. Add in extra factors such as being able to gain extra CO2's in exchange for investing in a windmill or buying a few trees.

In principal, anything that encourages a bit of corporate responsibility is of course a good thing, but the trouble is taken to an extreme the system means that a coal-fired power station could declare itself carbon neutral - although in commercial terms this would I suspect be economically unviable, after all the publics gullibility only goes so far....

In truth, the system just moves emissions around - those who want the PR of being green can get it with no real effort, and those who don't care can sell off their excess CO2's each year to help the aforementioned PR conscious companies.

This all became apparent because I wondered if it was right for us go carbon neutral. Now I know we don't actually have to cut emissions to be so, it seems pretty pointless. But how close are we? Well, if we used a horse for deliveries, and a windmill for electricity, then we'd be there without any trickery & form filling. But 'green' energy is bally expensive so it seems, and given the squeeze on beer margins it is unviable at the moment (but we keep going back to it, and it's getting cheaper!). As for the horse? Well, a great idea, but can you imagine paperwork, rules, regulations, complaints about animal abuse, etc etc etc. So for now we'll stick to what we are doing - although bio-diesel is an option, but only if it is not grown at the expense of an African's next dinner. Which of course means that unless we complete the equivalent 3 acres of rainforest in forms and paperwork to let us offset, then we'll not be neutral just yet. Unlike one other well-known brewer who has launched what they claim is the worlds first carbon-neutral beer.

Well I don't know about you, but I suspect that there may, at some point in history, have been a brewery that didn't use electricity or fossil fuels in way. Surely they would have been carbon neutral? And without any offsetting either... Hmmmm.

Thursday 17 July 2008

News From The Beer Front...

...Is actually a bit sparse.

It has been noted, accurately, that this year - so far - is not going well in the Pub Trade. This may be the smoking ban, it maybe the Daily Mail convincing folk they will be stabbed by a drunken teenager every time they enter the Plough & Taxman. It may be they have read that beer is now £27 per pint, or that Tesco are selling cask beer for less than a tanker load of Spring Water. Who knows (no-one it seems). But the fact is folk have been spending less money in pubs - mind you, having to re-mortgage your by now worthless house every time they wish to drive their car doesn't help - and so that means less beer.

And yes, we had noticed this, but as a growing company, we have not noticed a dip in sales so much as a wider spread of deliveries, which is of course a good thing, as it means a wider customer base - all a result of taking on a dedicated sales chappie, or Dave as we like to call him.

But, and it's good one, of late, trade seems to be climbing up - drinkers are back where they belong, in decent, honest and well run pubs. So things are starting to look good. We know this for two reasons:

1. We are seeing it the deliveries, and hearing it from customers
2. Our brewplant is broke, and so we have had to take a rest from brewing.

Things always go wrong at the most inconvenient time, and so having an element fail in our copper was a sure sign that the pub trade was about to ramp up. As I write this, on a wet, and quite frankly cold, Thursday in July (a feel asong lyric coming on...) we have a nearly empty cellar, and trade suddenly alive again. And whilst it is but a brief hiccup in our production, it will smart a bit. Still, all is falling into place, and things will be working next week. We know this, because this morning the Electricity Board told us, via a circular 'Dear Household' letter, that they will be turning our power off for a day later this month. Sometimes it does rain and pour at the same time.... Still, they have kindly given us advice on how to keep our food frozen. Thank you EDF, you're too kind. And of course any work they do will no doubt make improvements to the future reliability of the supply, and being a company with shareholders you can be sure not a penny is spent on repairs/maintainence unless things are critical, so it's hard to get really annoyed. But you do have to admire the timing of Fate.

What is has done is focus our minds even more on the importance of many things, not least the fact we should have bought a gas-fired copper (which we are looking at anyway, as part of a much needed expansion to the plant), and that running a diesel generator (on veg oil of course) may not be such a bad idea after all. We would have a wind turbine, but a decent sized one will probably upset the local Nimby's (of which there are several), and even series of small ones will still restrict work to windy days - of which, like Nimby's, we are not short of it must be said. No, we have no choice. An application to the local council for a Nuclear Reactor, without a second core to power our copper, is in the post. That should give them something really harmful to worry about...

Larking About In Troy....

Well, the title might have woken up a few Trekkies, but they will be disappointed and will, as I speak, be e-mailing us explaining how we spelt Troy wrong. If you don't understand any of this, then congratulations, you still have some semblance of a life - which is seemingly a rare thing these days. Anyone else pissed off with hearing Council workers moaning about not earning enough money to pay increasing bills? At least they can shout and strike, unlike the self-employed, the unemployed (as opposed to the unemployable), charity workers, and all the other good folk who just have to gird their loins and just get on with things.

Right enough of that. More serious matters to discuss.

Apparently the Skylark is in decline, it's numbers falling faster than it does at the end of it's distinctive song flight. Now I may have mentioned in the past how well endowed we are with birds up here (feathered ones, so do calm down). And so you may not be surprised to hear that we have a few Skylarks, to say the least - indeed the fields are managed to encourage them. As I lad I can remember them in the fields at the foot of the Chiltern ridge out Oxfordshire way, but I swear there are more round here - and that means from Baldock to Duxford - than ever this year. Whilst enjoying a distant view of Duxford airshow this weekend, the air was at times seemingly thick them, although it is possible they had travelled in just for the spectacle of 24 plus WWII fighters, and a couple of big WWII bombers, all flying overhead at the same time. Even folk like us who can spot a Spitfire, yet struggle with the difference between a 747 & a Zeppelin, couldn't fail to be wowed by the spectacle, and indeed moved by the knowledge that not that long ago history-wise, such a sight in these parts was not uncommon, albeit the wow factor would have been heavily tempered by knowing that there would be less aircraft coming back...

Anyway, I spent more time trying to photograph the rarely visible Skylark than I did watching the planes, which I think worried the plane spotters around us. We only choose the free seats because by the time we knew we would be able to attend, the show had sold out. I mention this lest you think we are freeloading. Can't speak for all the others though...

Anyway (can I start two sentences the same way?), back to the point. If you want to get some good Skylark, come to North Herts border country, particularly the hills overlooking Cambridge & the Fens. The very same hills, so some now say, that played a role overlooking the Battle Of Troy. Yes, that Battle Of Troy - complete with Achilles (who may or may not had a bad heel), and maybe a bit of equine carpentry was, it is thought, fought in the Cambridgeshire Fens. And so you too can join us in Larking About In Troy. Possibly.

And on that Ancient Greek Bombshell....

Thursday 3 July 2008

Return Of The Brit....

If you have been concentrating over the last 6 months, you would know that our Britannia was the first of our beers to be affected by hop shortages. Well, it's back. We secured a small amount of Bramling Cross hops late last year, enough to do a 'few' brews of Britannia. Well, we have just done the first of 2008, and it will be reaching the cellars next week (ie from 6th July). There is a reason for waiting this long before doing a brew, and all will be revealed in due course. Unless of course our tip-off is wrong.

Another return due soon from an enforced rest is Silence, and believe me, we've made a few gentle tweaks in dark corners of the brewery since we last brewed it, and well, I reckon it just might get a little better than the award winner it already was...

Hertfordshire - The Home Of The Best Beers, And It Seems It's Partly Down To Us.....

There is, out there, on the interweb, a website called RateBeer. This site is inhabited by some hardcore beer drinkers who record every beer, and publish their opinions on it for the world to see. Now we have known of this site for a while, and like most breweries shudder slightly when anyone mentions it. This is a shudder of fear and foreboding, for the reviews of the beer are at times seemingly done by folk who don't know anything like as much as they think they do about what flavours should and shouldn't be in a beer. Or worse, they are homebrewers who think all beer should taste dead yeast and smell like a warm hosepipe. The reviews vary wildly of course, as taste is in the mouth of the beholder - with the result that the same beer, at the same event, will get some wide ranging reviews. Sometimes though they do all agree on the colour... That is not say all reviewers exceed their knowledge, but there are certainly times when you have to wonder - and this is viewed shared by many people who are far qualified to comment on such thing than we are.

Anyway, someone has played with the statistics, and come up with the answer that the English county at the top of the scoreboards beer wise is Hertfordshire, and then they have gone on to rest this result at the feet of just two breweries - Alehouse (St Albans) and some oufit called Buntingford. Mind you, neither of us appear anywhere in the 'charts' as shown on the RateBeer site (although a few that raise some eyebrows, as alluded to above, do)

Of course the exact manner of arriving at this humbling fact is not known, but we are chuffed to read it nonetheless, so thank you to all those on RateBeer, whatever you knowledge level. I have to say it is all subjective, and I take all on such sites with a pinch of salt

What RateBeer doesn't do though is align any review to the outlets themselves, and whatever the beer is like ex-brewery, the landlord/cellarman controls how it is in the glass, and so must take some of the praise, where it's due. And this maybe why we came top of this little statistic - we have a limited number of outlets, and do our best to avoid selling beer to places where quality may be an issue. After all, why should we go the extra mile, if the next one in the supply chain won't? Mind you, why should we go that extra mile when others don't and then get praised for the complex flavour profiles of their badly brewed infected beer?

Still, if it helps to show that here at Buntingford, we truly offer 'Beer Brewed In Herts' - and more on that in due course - then it can't all be bad.

Save The Planet, Drink Local....

One of the things that raises the eyebrows of those who come up here for the official 'tour', is that the beer is mostly water. Now admittedly some beers may appear to be more mostly water than most (and this includes a few micro's), but water is around 90% of your pint. This means that in terms of transport, moving beer around the country is much the same as hauling plain old water about - which is of course a stupid waste of resources. Something which no doubt many hardcore ecomentalists forget, whilst tucking into their six-bean casserole washed down with a bottled water from France....

The answer of course is to drink a locally brewed beer. Sadly it seems that this is lost on many of these ecomentalists, especially those who enjoy an ice cold lager - which will have been shipped half way across the UK, if not Europe, then to add to the problem, has been run through up to 3 seperate chillers, all of which of course consume a lot of energy, which will have come from coal or nuclear power because the local NIMBY's will have blocked the alternative energy sources ("Yes sir, we sell chilled lager, but only a windy day").

So to save the world, drink a locally brewed beer - ie within 20-30 miles - and suddenly, that car you drive isn't quite such a danger to the world. Mind you, that car will no doubt be banned soon by some other do-gooder who lives a world with 40 buses an hour within 100 yards of their front door, and trains that don't cost several hundred pounds per mile to travel on. And so therefore assumes that the rest of us do as well.

You'd think of course that this message about locally-brewed beers, and the high energy costs of super-chilled lagers, would have been picked up and heavily bleated-on about by any real ale promoting consumer group. But no. It seems not. Surprisingly, this is despite grass roots members of CAMRA developing just such a campaign. Steve Westby, all-round nice bloke from Nottingham CAMRA, and beer organiser of several festivals each year, came up with the idea of 'LocAle', a scheme to promote locally brewed beer. Nottingham CAMRA ran with the idea, and pushed it to other branches. It is now being picked up by other branches, but with seemingly very little interest/support from CAMRA itself beyond supplying Point Of Sale material and acknowledging it's existence as an idea (although Steve Westby did get a campaigning award, partly due to his LocAle idea). Of course cynics might suggest that LocAle is of little use to bigger brewers with a national/super-regional market, and that these are the very same breweries who spend a lot of money on sponsorship & advertising.

LocAle is though being embraced at CAMRA branch level, and to be fair, that is where the most effective campaigning is done, so look out for the name in your local pub - unless of course they don't stock local beer, in which case, why are you in there?

Tuesday 24 June 2008

News Of The Brews

On the beer front, the Britannia Class Range has been going from strength to strength. Lightning was a popular beer, and was almost brewed again but I decided to ignore the requests and so out came Polar Star. It was brewed using wheat malt & maize, so it was something of a new direction for us - and what a beer it was. It is certainly the palest beer I have brewed, indeed one of the palest I have ever seen, and the Centennial hops really made it stand out. Not even I can ignore the clamouring for this one...

Knight Templar, a 4.9% golden beer also caused a minor storm, being named the best beer at a few festivals (although none that do official certificates to add to our collection), and going down equally well in the trade. Trouble is, at 4.9% it's a bit strong for many, and so we have a dilemma. Brew it again at the same strength, and limit it's outlets, or brew it at a lower strength, and thus increase it's sales potential. Trouble is, we can't really manage another regular without major expansion, and that is a path with so many headaches along it we need a lie down just thinking about it. So it will hover in the background for now.

What we have done though is a 4.0% beer with a slightly reddish hue, called Twilight. Bit early yet for feedback, but it raised a smile when sampled last week prior to being casked up.

We have a slot for a brew later this week, and it has yet to be decided how it will be filled. Another new Britannia has been mooted (we don't have the hops yet for more Polar Star), but then so has the original Britannia. Originally rested due to a lack of hops, we managed to secure some earlier this year, saving them for a suitable point in time.

All these decisions... I think I'll have beer.

Nature Notes - Warblers & All

Having in the past been proud of our Swallows & Spotted Flycatchers, this year they are noticeably down in numbers. This may of course be a false statement, caused by the noticeable increase in birds of species simply drowning out the Swallow / Flycatcher numbers.

So here is a run-down of what we have been seeing in the last few weeks...

Sparrows by the shedload - mostly of the House variety, but a few Tree variants as well.

Buntings - Corn/Field type in soem quantity, plus a few Reed Buntings for good measure. Given that we now have a Ford in our vehicle fleet (Don't, it still pains me to accept this) it is only a matter of time before we get the photo of a Bunting Ford (geddit?).

Sedge Warblers are back on the reedbed, as are Reed Warblers. Boy can they make some noise between them, especially after dark....

A Yellow Wagtail has been making themselves obvious, alongside the usual Pied variants.

We have a few Robins, most of them cocky and of the opinion that we are in their way...

The Red Kite is getting more common (we are on the edge of their expanding Chiltern territory), and of course the Buzzards, Kestrels & Sparrowhawks are as common as ever. There are tales of the Marsh Harrier being sighted, and of a Red Tailed Falcon (which apparently is basically a Buzzard really, no doubt escaped from a collection).

What we haven't seen or heard much of though are the Owls - but they are around still, in Barn, Tawny, Little & Short Eared forms.

Of course it is only June, so plenty of time yet for more. And of course we have the Blackbirds, Thrushes, Jays, etc etc etc all still frigging around as well.

Ever Wondered Where Your Tax Goes....?

Well, do you? I know we do.

Here then is something of note:

http://www.lga.gov.uk/lga/core/page.do?pageId=38227


Of course we all want a fair and equal society, where all can benefit from good healthcare - even lager drinkers. But I can't help thinking the best way to do that is just to say 'Here Is The GP, And This Is Hospital', then allow people in. How can that not be a fair and open policy? It seems though that in reality it needs a Symposium. Oh yes. I used to work on the fringes of the healthcare world, and I can safely say that these sort of meetings (to use plain and perfectly adequate English) are so common I'm amazed anyone gets time to fix the sick. Still, I particularly liked Collage 2 - it speaks to me about the world we live in, and the people who try and run it for us.

I'm off now to utilise the posture-enhancement facilitator, whilst at the same time engaging in a holistic-centric approach to a fully inclusive refreshment dynamic (I'm going to put my feet up and wait for someone, indeed anyone, to put the kettle on).

Thursday 5 June 2008

We're Still 'Ere...

No, we've not been on holiday, asleep or even pretending to be the potential next US president. Well, Ok, so we tried to do the latter, but the queue was a bit big. The truth is I couldn't be bothered. Far too busy watching and doing things to actually sit down and write about them. So here is a quick synopsis of what has happened since early March...

The Beers:

Golden Plover is now a regular, it was that well received amongst our local customers. The alternative Britannias are going well, and the sixth has just been released, 'Polar Star', which is a very blonde beer with a bit of a citrus kick. Brewed with maize and wheat alongside the more traditional barley, this beer nods slightly towards the 'American Pale Ale' style, and of course was fermented with our yeast, which - if you have been concentrating - you will know is partly a bottom fermenting (ie 'lager') strain. Rumour is that when the beer was barrelled up, most of it was drunk before it reached the casks, so it must be good.

The Brewery:

Still plodding on, but recently blowing up pumps & coolers at random yet crucial moments. We have a proper sales person chap now, who goes by the name of David. It seems he may be able to out anorak existing staff in areas mechanical & musical, and so is fitting in just well. And we are selling more beer, which can't be bad. We just need now to get some more tanks in, if the Chinese haven't eaten all the steel yet.


The Wildlife:

Now the real reason we have been busy. The Lapwings chose the field by the brewery for nesting this year, and so we have had many a happy hour firstly watching the Lapwing Defensive Strategies being deployed, and then doubly so once the chicks hatched. There is something indefinably addictive about the little chicks as they bob around in the grass. Sadly, the adults move the chicks to longer undergrowth after a couple of weeks, so they are now a couple of fields away, although there is apparently a chance of further broods as late arrivals start nesting. The Swallows arrived before the last snows in April, which seemed to perturb them a bit (the Swallows that is, not the snow). But they are still here, in great numbers, and nesting. We have Pied Wagtails and Pigeons nesting in sight of the office door, so there is still some bird action to come (so to speak). We even have a Corn Bunting who wanders up to the office door most days, which is nice and apt. The ducks have ducklets, and the Moorhens will soon be joining them no doubt. The sparrows have been hard at it as well, and for a species that is apparently on the RSPB red list, they seem to be doing just fine in the barns here.


Anyway, must go. We have a government to fund, so time really is money know, and quite probably about to be taxed....

Thursday 13 March 2008

Fame Beckons, The West End Is Calling...

By my reckoning, I must now be a D-List Celebrity. Soon the Tabloid press will be publishing photo's of me wearing nowt but a thong, Relaxing on a carribean beach. Of course it will be a fake - partly because I can't afford such a holiday (nor do I have the time), but mostly because there are some things that even the tabloids wouldn't dare publish. But that is not the point. I have studied the from, I know how these things must work.

If we read the Entertainment pages of the BBC News website, we keep asking each other 'Who's that' or 'What did they do'. In short, none of todays stars & celebrities are known to us. Heck, I didn't even realise that Carol Barnes wasn't reading the News At Ten any more, let alone that the poor lass has recently (and sadly) passed away (can't think why, but as a young boy I recall the news being interesting when she was on). So following my stint on local TV in 2005 (Anglia TV News, marking our opening here at Greys), I have now made the level of local Radio - but this time the BBC, so it must be important. Given that, I reckon I must now be a celebrity - after all, it seems others have that status for doing equally little of value to entertain the nation.

So bring on the glitzy parties, dodgy photo's of me getting out the back of a limo. What, Oh, that's only girlies they do that too. Well photo's of me with dodgy people then. I can do that, I've been to beer festivals, plenty of practice in the 'Being See With Dodgy People Department' there.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to be able to say they were there when it all started, tough luck. The show I was one isn't even available on Listen Again. Perhaps I'm not so important after all. Oh well, I don't like champagne anyway.

Oh, why was I one? The Cambridge Science Festival - in particular a series of talks on Saturday Night (15th) on the matter of beer. We have brewed a beer to promote the festival, 'A Little Bitter Science' (do you see what we did there?), and a certain character who may bear a passing resemblance to me, is part of the line up of speakers. A line that was to have included Roger Protz, but it seems he has now found something better to do (you can do that, when you are famous). So yours truly got the chance to go live on air to promote the event, and also promote ourselves into the bargain. I just hope it all came across well. Not had any calls yet from the BBC to start work as a DJ on Radio One (I can wear a hat backwards and talk funny), but then given that Hollywood still hasn't got in touch following my TV debut in 2005, I guess these things take time.

In the meantime, see you Saturday night!

http://www.cambridgescience.org/ (search under 'beer') or email ed(dot)emery@thefreeuniversity(dot)net for tickets

Just To Clarify...

In hindsight, it appears I may have appeared anti-tax, anti government & anti health. Well, I maybe guilty on one charge there - but the others? No.

I fully appreciate we need a tax system to pay for a civilised society. Obviously roads have to be mended and cleaned, rubbish collected regularily, the Police, Fire Service & Armed Forces need full funding to a job that is of prime importance to us all - defence & protection. We need a fully funded Health Service to look after us, based solely on need - not age, wealth or background. We need Nurses, Doctors, Ambulance Crews, GPs and Dentists to enable this (and not forgetting the cleaners of course). And yes, we need people to collect these taxes, and ensure that we all pay our fair share. This is what civilised society is all about, and it has to be paid for. So yes, I agree with the need for taxes. I just like to think that the above listed items might also be the result of paying all these taxes. I might also, when pushed, believe that the methods of collection of these taxes should be simple, transparent & foolproof. But only when pushed.

Am I anti-health? No. All for it, and if that means that we have to forgo some dangerous pleasures every now & then, then so be it - surely no-one sets out to destroy themselves. But by the same token, why must our pleasures be dictated by minority groups of faceless suits & suitesses? A glass of wine, a wee dram, or even a pint or two a the end of the day has been shown to beneficial - but only in moderation. In much the same way that excercise can result in broken limbs, or walking/cycling can get you killed by a car. I mean, how much of a burden on the NHS are injured cyclists - who pay no extra taxes at all (yet)? Point is, quite rightly, no-one picks on such things - but if gangs of disaffected youths started cycling through shopping centres running people down, would it be fair to punish every cyclist in order to discourage them? No, of course not.

We have a growing anti-alcohol lobby in the corridors of power. Smoking has been targetted with success, and alcohol is now the new tobacco. Yes, it needs treating with respect. And the best way to do that is to drive into controlled environments, like say the pub. Instead, drinkers are now being forced to buy cheap booze from shops, and take it home (you know home, the only place where there always has been 24 hour drinking, not that the media have figured that out yet). And where there is no peer/social pressure to behave yourself. So pubs close, we lose our customer base, we close. Big breweries get bigger, beer miles increase, alcohol stays cheap through other savings forced by retailers expecting duty hikes not to be passed to them, and we all get sozzled on cheap booze at home, where no one suggests 'Isn't It Time You Went Home'. Because we've drunk more, we're more likley to be drunk in the morning, on the drive into work. And because the booze has to be cheaply brewed, natural ingredients go further out the window in favour of more chemicals, and you don't have to spend too much time Googling to see the KNOWN risks of chemical additives getting mixed in the body.

You know, I no longer care if as a small brewery we remain viable. If we were employed, then our hours would break EEC working time rules, and we'd be on less than the minimum wage. We're not alone - that applies to many small businesses in many fields. Yet even so, we pass to the state £3-4000 pounds (yes, thousand) each month in beer duty, VAT, PAYE, Climate Change Levy, Fuel Duty, plus all the associated costs passed to us by our suppliers. So, yes, I've a right to be bitter about the budget, taxes, and the lack of anything to show for it across society.

And if I see one more bloody chav on a TV interview proudly proclaiming how he's not going to get a job when he can get State Benefits, well, I shall bloody well join him. And in the process not only spend my benefits on dope, alcohol & cigarettes, but I'll hang around on the streets picking up ASBO's. And do you know what? I'll enjoy it.

Wednesday 12 March 2008

You're Too Kind...

So, only 4p a pint then. Yippee. Just watch the price of beer in pubs go up, it won't be hard to spot. Now watch what the supermarkets etc do. That'll be a bit harder I reckon.

So once again the morally straight, law abiding, sensible majority will pay a bit more to allegedly stop the scare of the week, when those that should be targeted will just be laughing.

Still, we've been spared (for a short time) a further 2p on a litre of fuel. Given that it's gone up so bloody much of late, I'm not sure I'd have noticed another tuppence, but hey ho.

After several years of working for ourselves, we are still worse off than we would be if we had spent that time on the social. It's a sobering thought....

Tuesday 11 March 2008

Nature's Bounty Blown Around...

Well, it's early March, and thanks to Global Warming all the early migrant birds have been blown back to Africa, and all we've got here are several million, and possibly more, Black-Headed Gulls. The Reed Buntings occasionally risk an appearance, and we've got a couple of ducks (Mallard, one of each) who have been trying land for 2 days now but keep getting caught in a strong updraught.

Because of our location, atop an escarpment overlooking the future Anglian Sea, we catch a lot of wind, mostly due to there being no-one else to the North or West to do so for us. Obviously it's a bit worse currently than normal, but it's been a bit hefty round 'ere on & off for several weeks. But then not as bad as elsewhere along the Southern & South Western coasts, so we're not complaining.

Our 'Lawn', familiar to many visitors, has now been ploughed up. This has much delighted the aforementioned gulls who have managed to strip most of the worms, and because there has been several trillion of them, the normally very defensive Buzzards have seemingly left them alone, although this maybe because the Buzzards have been blown on an extended glide to somewhere just beyond Pluto. If I can ever open the door against the wind I'll let you know.

Still, we can all be thankful that it would be a lot worse if it wasn't for all the sterling work being done to raise taxes in order to reverse global warming. I don't know how it works, but it does. I've been told so. Oh yes.

5p Or Not 5p, That Is The Question...

It's ten to five in the afternoon, and in 24 hours time we will know just what the Budget will bring. Will alcohol duty be lifted by a large degree to 'tackle binge drinking'? Will Spirits be left alone, as usual, with other forms of alcohol going up by inflation? And just what is inflation? Does it really include the spiralling costs of anything involving road transport (ie everything), grain (ie most things edible and therefore a neccessity), or any of the real rip-off's of modern life.

Does anyone even care? And where does all this extra money go?

Back to the point. It is almost ineviatable (and some would say vital) that alcohol duty will increase. The smart predictions across the web suggest 5p a pint on beer - although many are calling for more, even double that. At the very least it will be a penny based on recent years.

But will increased duty fix Binge Drinking. No. To be fair, I don't think anyone believes increased taxes on their own fix anything, but lets have a closer look, shall we? Ahhh yes, through the Round Window....


1. The Increased Revenue Will Recover The Social Cost Of Drinking.

Well, maybe - but only if alcohol consumption continues at current rates. A fact which defeats all the arguments about cutting consumption. After all, less drinking equals less duty income, so more has to be raised pro-rata. And so overall income doesn't really go up. So how can it then pay for extra 'services'.


2. Increased Tax Will Reduce Consumption/Illness/Death etc etc

How much is a pint of strong lager in the pub? Approaching £3 a pint, maybe more in places. And in the supermarkets/high street shops? A lot less, certainly under a pound, well under when you factor in special offers. So firstly, a rise in cost will drive trade away from the pubs, and into the arms of those retailers already selling either below or just above cost prices. Now maybe these retailers will pass the rise on in full, but it will still leave the price a long way below that at which people will pay in the pub. So just how much will it reduce consumption? How many of us can honestly say that they don't find it easier to drink more at home than they would on a night out? Do we serve pub measures at home when drinking wine or spirits? I am not convinced that driving drinkers into their front rooms is for the best. More importantly, assuming that increasing the price will decrease the consumption relies heavily on a belief that people drink solely because the alcohol is cheap. In which case France must be full of sozzled medically wrecked folk. Well, it wasn't the last time I looked. France is full of places selling alcohol cheaper than in the UK. Do they have trouble at 2am every Friday night in Lyon? Do they have gangs of teenagers drunkenly loitering on street corners? No. But then do we? Oh yeah, we see the press coverage, but when did we last see it for real. Sure, some places have a problem, but not the whole country. But yet it is deemed OK to penalise the whole country.


3. Under Age Drinking Is Out Of Control, And Needs To Be Stopped.

Yes, yes and thrice yes. But just how bad really is it? Evidence seems to be out there certainly, and there is no denying the problem. But think back to your childhood. You are asked questions about your lifestyle. What is the overriding aim to your answers? The truth, which may be sad & pathetic compared to what society says is the norm? Or do you flower it up a little bit, to fit in with what is perceived to be the social norm. Point is, just how reliable are the surveys that suggest kids are binge drinking at 12/13/14/16 etc (if we asked a teenager to name the worlds best song, we wouldn't accept there answer, so why accept any other. That said, they may well be right of course, on all counts). And what percentage is this of the total number in that age group. What I am saying is do we know just how much spin there is here - all the drinking data floating around seems to come solely from parties with an axe to grind, be they at the prohibitionist end (and they are out there), or from the denial end. Personally I believe it is growing problem, I believe that nearly all adults out here of all ages have been guilty of drinking, maybe heavily (if only once), before they were 18. So with that element of sanctimonious hypocrisy out of the way, there is one question that should be asked above all others. Why do you drink? I suspect that 'It's Cheap' will not always be the main reason. Whilst I can't deny cost is not a factor at all, it is surely more important to sort out the problem - otherwise the focus will move from getting drunk to something else, and I doubt that'll be a sudden uptake of tapestry and community projects. Why didn't previous generations binge drink? Or did we, but because of a perceived social framework we maybe all behaved a lot better. Are kids behaving anti-socially because they are drunk, is getting drunk just one of the ways of behaving anti-socially. When we see a group of teenagers, what is the first thought that comes into our heads? Do we see yobs, or do we see a group of friends just 'hanging out', just as we did in our day (probably hating it when we were told what to do, when to do it...).

I'm afraid society has a raft of problems - none of them caused by drugs, guns or alcohol, but all lead into an interest of those three. And no amount of tax will cure us.

4. The Health Service Is Creaking Under The Weight Of Alcohol-Related Disorders.

Let's face it, the NHS is just creaking. This is the result of many things - medical science can do new things every day, and they all need to be paid for. When the NHS was created, no-one really imagined being able to replace organs, repair eyes, add robotic limbs. Heck, they never even saw the need for acres of managers and all the seminars that they need in order to survive. Not even the endless oppurtunities for White Papers, Policy Documents, etc etc. The NHS is badly underfunded, heavily over managed, and subjected, on top of all this, to constantly costly fiddling from politicians more interested in leaving their mark than benefitting the country. But all that aside, should the NHS have to treat self inflicted illness. If you ignore all the advice, and give yourself a knackered liver, should everyone else be liable? The argument that suggests we shouldn't is very strong. But what about a broken limb sustained while playing football down the park? I don't see the point in football, so why should I pay to pick up the pieces? What about fat people? And those in car accidents? Point is, where do you draw the line? Food poisoning whilst on holiday in Tunisia? Not my problem mate. So yes, alcohol-related health problems may well be a drain on resources, but then so are many other self inflicted illnesses that the NHS has to treat. The answer? Stop people drinking to excess is the obvious one, but ask why they do so in the first place. Why is alcohol so damned important to them. And what will they replace it with if they can't afford it?


It's all very difficult. Alcohol is a drug. It has adverse effects in large doses. But in small doses it can be beneficial. Of course there are some who would argue this way for certain illegal drugs, and in many ways alcohol is just as dangerous as class A drugs. But the overriding thought in my mind is society has many ills, and just raising taxes won't solve this one. By all means restrict access to it - reduce the number of off licences, control the minimum price in those that are left in you have to. But a blanket raise of taxes will only serve to further reduce the viability of controlled drinking establishments (ie responsible pubs), increase the viability of those more interested in attracting customers (ie shops using drink as a loss leader), and drive the vulnerable onto the streets/into their homes, where they really can consume alcohol 24 hours a day (unlike 99% of all licenced premises...). And if you think alcohol causes crime now, just wait until these criminals have to steal even more before they can have a drink...

Thursday 14 February 2008

The Cost Of A Pint...

There was, not long back, much made in the media of the arrival of the £4 pint in 2008. Much of this was blamed on increasing raw material prices, with a jolly old dash of increased beer duty.

So is it really true?

Well yes - if you go to expensive clubs, where I suspect four quid a pint is possibly old hat. But for the rest of us peasants in the real world? Well, never say never. So what exactly is going to happen with beer prices then, I hear you ask. Oh, you didn't ask. Well never mind, I'm going to tell you anyway....

1. Raw Materials
I have alluded in the past to price hikes in our ingredients, well, we now know what those hikes are. Malt, which is the secondest largest ingredient (water is of course the first) has, in our case, risen in cost by around 20%, mostly as a result of the poor harvest of 2007 but of course fuel & energy costs increases have played their part as well. This translates, approximately, into a little under a penny per pint extra on our costs on a 3.8% beer (slightly over a penny on a 5.2% beer). Hops have gone up a lot more - mostly they have DOUBLED in price, some have TRIPLED, others just aren't available at all. This equates, again on the costs of our 3.8% beer, to around 4p extra per pint. The amount hops used varies somewhat according to how much hop flavour/aroma/ bitterness we want, so heavily hopped beers are hit more than the more lightly hopped ones, but that 4p is about in the middle.

The rise in hop prices is for the same reasons as the malt - but hops have been harder hit. It would be fair to add that in both cases a constant squeeze on the price paid to farmers for both commmodities has resulted in acreages of malt and hops decreasing faster than is sustainable, otherwise the situation would not be as grim. (Sadly this squeeze is from the large players in the industry, not us small guys who have always been happy to pay a fair price. But it is always the small man who suffers most in the end). So the situation might not improve for a few years, whatever future harvests are like. It takes but a few hours and a few pounds to grub up an esatblished hop yard (a hop field in laymans terms). It takes much, much longer, at a much higher cost, to put the hop yards back again. Indeed, if supplies of malt or hops do run out before the next harvest - which is not impossible - then prices will rise again.

So to recap, we have already added 5p to the cost of a pint.

2. Brewing / Delivering Costs
This is all a little harder to fully quantify, as over the last two years we have tripled the number of casks of our beer we have delivered, but at the same time reduced overall mileage as almost all that growth has been local. Likewise as production goes up, so does efficiency, so the potential for savings rise with the costs. But we all know that electricity and gas have increased immensely, as has the cost of fuel, so there is still an issue here of above inflation increases in costs. And of course all our suppliers have this problem, and so there prices rise to reflect this as well - which is yet another cost burden spread down the line. I think it would be fair to say that 2-3p per pint to counter this is about right. As I said, it is difficult to accurately quantify all this as our increased production makes a year-on-year comparison meaningless. Of course we don't have the time to sit down and do the comparison sums properly. I'm not saying you the reader isn't worth the effort, but frankly, we don't have the time just for the benefit of this blog - although it would be interesting to find out.

3. Admin / Staffing
Red tape is much discussed, especially in terms of how it is strangling industry. But, to be honest, I don't think (for us at least) it's a big problem. But we are smaller than the threshhold for much of the many rules and regulations, so as we grow this may well change. That said, I never will understand why we get more visits from people checking text heights on bottle labels than from people checking we aren't poisoning drinkers. But as both are all nice folks, I can live with it (no really, they are, and rules are rules and are worthless if they aren't enforced).

We don't have staff at the moment (we did, but he left to do wonderful things with herbs - and cook breakfast), so once again we don't have a social life (limited that it was), but when we did have a life, that too suffered from these extra costs, so we need to take more money out just to pay bills. I worked out once that every penny on fuel probably actually costed us as a business up to 1.5p as a result of all these indirect costs.


So, where are we now, 8p or so a pint on our costs. Allow something for us to reinvest, take a pay rise - or even just get paid, and 10p is the ball park. That is one hell of a percentage increase on our trade prices (we are neither cheap or expensive), and of course your average landlord has to bear a raft of other costs as well, be it above inflation rent increases, the increased costs of the new licencing laws, staff costs, their own energy bills, and so on. A few years ago I would have made reference now the extortionate running costs of their Jags as well, but I've though about this - and I am struggling to think of any of our regular, and not-so-regular, customers, that has a new car, let alone a Jag. Well maybe one had a Jag until recently, but it doesn't count. It certainly didn't start.

So if we put our prices up by 10p a pint, and the landlord will add a bit on because his costs have risen massively as well (believe me, running a pub is not as much fun as it was). This may then be another 5p, maybe 10p. I reckon the average price around here at the moment is around £2.50. So if we add our 10p, and another 10p for the landlord (we'll be kind), we hit the dizzy heights of £2.70. Then there's the March budget, and God forbid it should happen, but lets assume the doom-mongering media-hyping State Nannies decide to ramp up beer duty to stop us all from smashing up Woolworths every Friday night. Shall we say 10p on a pint (please, no).

That's £2.80. Still £1.20 short of the predicted £4.00. What do you reckon? Give another 20p to the Nannies, in the hope they'll spend it on another seminar and fail to ever come back? That leaves a whole pound. Well, 40p to the lanlord, 40p to the brewer, and 20p left to give the Police a reasonable wage (they should try the Army - they get shot at slightly more often for a lot less), in return for arresting a few more criminals.

I can't speak for anyone else, but that extra 40p will be well spent here. Probably on a plane ticket to somewhere where the beer is a little cheaper....

Wednesday 13 February 2008

Newsflash - Lapwing Update!

Follow my post of 12 February 2008 (which was yesterday as of when I wrote this, but given that it might be several years before anyone reads this, I ought to be specific), we can now confirm the arrival of Lapwings. Lapwings spend the winter near water (estuaries etc), and move inland for the spring/summer, where they like to nest in fields (long grass & all that). This is all done communally, even to the point of having a nursery, whereby all the chicks are looked after by just one or two adults on a rota basis.

During the afternoon of the 12th, as I was out walking (well, it's more fun than the Beer Duty Return I should have been doing) a solitary confirmed Lapwing flew over. It then landed and proceeded to start 'odding-around' with it's pointy-aerial thingy erected (note my full knowledge of bird vernacular here). Within 90 minutes a full strength squadron of them flew over, heading for same fields they bred in last year. Given the apparent increase in their numbers this year, it will be a noisy summer...

We await the next arrivals - be it the Flycatchers, Swallows, Martins, Swifts, Hobby, Marsh Harrier. Most of these will be around by Late April normally...

RSPB A-Z Of Birds

I Hope We Know What We Are Doing...

So, we have massive hikes in raw material prices, allied with global shortages of the same, spiralling (upwards, of course) fuel & energy prices, an ever-shrinking marketplace thanks to restrictive trading & too much competition (much of it from breweries that aren't run to be commercially viable, but as a 'hobby'). And if that wasn't enough, we have State Nannies hell-bent on over-demonising all forms of alcohol to stop a tiny, tiny minority who still behave like idiots even when they are sober. That is our market in a nutshell.

There is only one obvious course of action. Expand!

Whilst we have been planning this for a long, long time (longer than was planned), it is, given the above, even more important that we grow - because then we can afford to target new markets, grow successfully into the shrinking existing one, and expand our offerings in the process.

So just what are we doing then? Firstly, we are putting in a new beer store - our existing one is cramped, badly located (it was always temporary), and hard work. Not only is the new one bigger, it is at ground level - so we can use a fork lift (and that, believe me, will be a God send in itself). It will also enable us (for a variety of reasons) to allow our beer to mature in tanks, which will free up some more casks not only to help cover increased production, but it also means no more being unable to brew just because we have no spare casks. Secondly, we upgrade our cask washing facilities, speeding up that particular job immensely. Thirdly, we will have more storage space for malt supplies - so they won't be in the way (and as a side benefit, malt handling prior to starting each brew will be simplified, and easier). And last, but not least, in the middle of it all will sit a rather useful, and somewhat flash, automated bottling line. Which is of course where new markets come in. If the drinker increasingly won't go to the pub, the pub, it seems, is increasingly expected to go to the drinker. Enter Bottled Beer. And of course having a full range of bottled beers gives us the chance to look at restaurants (Beer and food? A fine match, much better than wine.), off-licences, supermarkets etc.

Yes, I did say supermarkets. I will go one further, and say Tesco. It was winning their Bottled Beer Award (East, 2008) that sparked this off, and we'll be on their shelves (if all works out to a mutual advantage) by the summer. It has been suggested, nay hammered into us in some cases, that Tesco are the root of all evil, and not very nice to be dealing with. But our eyes are open - they are a huge dominant global corporate giant, we are but a small little concern where even the vehicles have names not ID numbers. This is not good for us? Maybe not. But if we follow their requirements (and in a past life I got to learn why these requirements were needed, and their is some common sense involved), supply the sort of product we would be happy to drink, and do our best to be flexible, I think we'll be alright. And if it doesn't work? Well, we'll have had some immense exposure to the public. And we certainly don't ever intend to have any one customer so big that we can't manage without them. Yes, we'll want to court other large chains, but it will be different beers.

Of course in an ideal world, we'd all be drinking down the pub - but that is not happening, and we'd be stupid not to follow the market. Ironically, I suspect the day of the pub will return - but not in the villages that are already without, and those that quite possibly soon will be. Let's just hope in the meantime that alchohol isn't priced out of the reach of the sensible, moderate drinking majority, in a flawed attempt to control the few idiots, who, quite frankly, are only idiots because society has fromed that way. But then I guess I am missing the point. Education costs money. Alcohol brings it in. It just depends how much they think we'll pay for it, because we can't as a Nation afford to reduce tax revenues. Too many buffoons to pay for.

So all in all, I'm not worried about knowing what we are doing. I'm more worried that everyone else knows what they are doing....

Tuesday 12 February 2008

Nature Notes, Feb 12 2008

Now I don't know when Spring really starts. Certainly, there are now signs of trees budding in anger, and we can't hear any cuckoos (but then we don't up here at any other time either). But the crows have started heavy lifting (twigs, crisp bags, small dogs etc) so they must be starting to build something. The Brewery's Guard Robin has got himself a potential nest site (away from us, so we are getting less taunting). The Reed Buntings have found the reed bed, and appear to making themselves comfortable. Golden Plover in their hundreds (literally) have been circling overhead. Fieldfares have been flocking, and the occasional gaggle of Lapwings may have been spotted.

The Pheasants have started fighting - males of course, and no doubt some State Nanny will say this is due to the presence of alcohol nearby. The Partridges are, well, being Partridges (not that they can do that well, bless them). The Great Tits are getting very vocal (especially on the BBC Parliament channel...). The ever tuneful Birds Of Significant Colour are all mated up, and the Doves & Pigeons are getting boisterous (and shot). The Hares are getting nervous (they are already numerous).

So some of the above seem to be thinking about Spring starting, and others may well feel it has already started. Either way, in the last week or so the outside world has erupted into life, there is unquestionably far more activity all round, and a lot more noise. Of course not all of it is good - there is after all only so much owl your ears can take. We have the constant screeching of the Barn Owls (last years pair, plus at least one more we think), coupled with the constant hooting of the newly arrived Tawny (who is now getting a reply it seems, so maybe there is pair in the offing?), and the occasional chipping in from the Little Owl who lives down the lane (no, really). Still, as irritations go, it does make you feel all nice and warm inside. Unless of course you are a mouse, in which it must at least make you feel wanted.

We have even seen our first lizard of the year, although given that he was frozen to the cellar steps just after New Year, the siting may not count for much evidence of an early spring.

The Buzzards have been mostly absent of late, but then I guess there aren't many good thermals for them to play on at the moment. The Kestrels are ever present, and there are signs of sparrowhawk activity - mostly abandoned Pigeon wings, but one was seen playing chicken on the local highway, trying desperately to remove some roadkill rabbit, succeeding at the last minute, just avoiding being hit by a car.

To round off, here are some interesting facts - Barn Owls hunting by listening, they can apparently hear a mouse's heart beat from over 200 yards. I can't even hear my own, but then maybe I don't have a heart? Kestrels meanwhile, can see ultra-violet light, which is handy because their favourite prey (voles) leaves a trail of urine that reflects ultra-violet light. We think we have it bad, but your little vole? Well, not only does he appear to have a permanent bladder disorder, but as a result is forever telling his enemy where he is. Now that is a bummer.

Of January & Cynics

Given the sudden lack of postings (again), you could be forgiven for thinking we had been visiting Bin Laden at Lord Lucan's new home. But fear not, we have been here all along, just too busy (or too lazy?) to publish any worthy waffle here.

Well, not anymore. So what has been happening? Christmas has apparently been and gone (Our friends at Tring had Christmas last week it seems, so we are not alone...). Quite a bit of time has been spent sorting out stuff related to the expansion, which has now started (or it least it sounds like it has). A regular blog update relating to the work will appear on this very site, probably. So far the huge increase in raw material prices has not caused us to drop down dead, but that could yet change. Oh, and Mother Nature has just this week decided it is now Spring (more on this too on this site in due course). But the really pertinent stuff must be what is, and has been, brewing...

January, as any brewer will tell you, is generally very quiet in the trade. This is down to Christmas overload amongst the great unwashed, and then come the end of the month, the arrival of the credit card statement. So February therefore often isn't much better. Now of course bills & wages etc still ahve to be paid, so it is not uncommon to find breweries offering big discounts at this time of year, just to get some money coming in, just to cover costs. Thankfully, we have not (yet) ever had to resort to this. And this year it seems that we are not alone - although it may have more to do with the fact that an increasing number of breweries are now discounting heavily all year. It might even be the raw material increases, but that would seem to contradict the previous argument. For us, January was, against all expectation, a good month. Not the best, but good nonetheless.

Why? Well, being cynical, we decided to try a new tack. Specials. Now we have often had specials available over the last 3 years or so, but not to the degree we have now. For example, in January we had Boadicea 4.0% & Western Cavalier 3.8%, and now we have Venus 4.4%, Woolwinder 4.1% & A Little Bitter Science 3.9%. Why is this cynical? Because there is a demand for new beers in trade. In the past we have tried to focus on our core range, but now, with a whole stack of new casks to play with, and the problems with certain hops, we have been able to look again at our range. So, instead of bringing in new regulars, we have joined the band of those who constantly change brews. Once it has been brewed, that's it. No re-brewing. Of course we still have our core beers, but instead of brewing a special for a period of time, we are doing one brew, then moving on. Eventually of course we'll run out of permutations. But names? No. So yes, it's cynical. But it works, and unlike some breweries, we are actually changing the recipes (to varying degrees) between each name. So cynical, and ethical.

This means more Western beers (we have over 50 more of these train names to use yet), and more beers named after LNER A1, A2 & A3 locomotives. Britannia, as mentioned in the past, has been hit by problems with getting Bramling Cross hops. We have managed to source some now, but not enough. So Britannia will be rested for periods through the year, to be replaced by a range of similar strength (4.4%) beers, all named after Britannia class locomotives (ironically, Britannia was never named after a train..) And there are plenty of them. And then we have loads more - certainly more than you could shake an anorak's notebook at. And that is just trains - other themes/names aren't hard to find of course, but a picture of a train seems to help sell beer. Maybe we all have a bit of the anorak about us?

And when we really do run out of recipes? Well, who'll remember how they all tasted. And maybe then we will let our ethics slip like we have with our principles. If ethics and principles REALLY made a business succeed, they'd be taxed.